The Fallen Series 1: To Be
by Findabhiar Aery
Summary: Bonnie has a plan, but not all is exactly what it seems.... VDFG


The Fallen Series: To Be  
By: Findabhiar Aery  
  
Disclaimers: A lot of this stuff belongs to the all powerful L.J.  
Smith, but some characters belong to me.   
  
******************************************************************  
  
Prologue  
  
Suddenly, I was again. I was... somebody, again. Julian,  
shadowman, elfking, alien... I was. From an ocean of darkness a  
light shone to me, a red light.  
  
"Are you Julian?" A young girl about Jenny's (Jenny! I could  
remember again) age was stooped over me looking into my eyes  
worriedly.  
  
"Jenny...?" Her eyes resembled Jenny's in their almost extreme  
innocence and vulnerability.  
  
"You are Julian!" She sat back and smiled brightly. I blinked.  
  
"Are you an angel?"  
  
"Nah, a witch." She grinned again and then blushed as she looked  
down at me. I gave her a puzzled look but had no energy with which  
to move.  
  
"Here." She placed a blanket over me. I smiled slightly at her  
embarrassement and promptly fell asleep.  
  
"Why do you love me?" Jenny looked quizically at me as she asked  
this.  
  
"Light to darkness." I said back a bit impatiently.  
  
"Maybe you should look below the surface of your love..." She  
smiled faintly and began to fade away.  
  
"Would you like something to eat?" The girl was beside me as I  
woke up.  
  
"Yes." I was finally able to look at her fully and take in what  
exactly I was seeing. Deep red curls tumbled about her beautiful  
heart-shaped face, and there was an innocence in her wide set deep  
brown eyes that spoke to me somehow. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Bonnie, Bonnie McCullough. I was the one who recarved your  
name back into the runestave." She seemed unable to pull her eyes  
from mine.  
  
"Hi Bonnie. Now, if you could point me in the direction of a  
bathroom, I would be a happy man." I looked at her as she laughed  
and held out a hand to me.  
  
"Grab it, and I'll help you up." She said seeing my look of  
confusion.  
  
"We need to talk about your people skills." She grabbed my hand  
and pulled me up with suprising strength for one of such small  
stature. Her head appeared to reach only to the centre of my chest.  
  
Bonnie draped my arm around her shoulders as she wrapped her arms  
around my waist and helped me across the room. I could do little  
but shuffle my feet ackwardly as we headed into the bathroom. I  
grinned to see that she had put pants on me while I was sleeping.  
Pretty nice pink pajama bottoms that were too small for me.  
  
"Uh, are you able to do your thing on your own?" She blushed as  
she asked this.  
  
"Unless you want to hold me while I piss, no, I don't need help."  
Bonnie turned even redder and left me at the doorway.  
  
  
  
Part 1  
  
"Now, why exactly did you carve my name back into the runestave,  
and how did you know to?" We sat at her kitchen table while I  
asked my questions.  
  
"I have a proposition for you." I quirked my eyebrow at her not-  
too-skillfull evasion of my questions, but motioned for her to go  
on. She leaned forward resting her elbows on the table in a  
gesture I was fast learning meant she was about to say anything  
that was connected to the subject. I sighed and settled in.  
  
"You were erased the first time because of your love for Jenny  
Thornton who never seemed to love you back. Instead, she was in  
love with Tom who seemed only to be able to love himself." She  
took a breath and looked surprised as I calmly sipped the coffee  
she had placed in front of me. Inside though, I was dying with  
curiosity.  
  
How did this girl know how I had come to be erased? She was just  
human. No human should know that much about my race. It seemed  
almost perverted to my thinking. She had said she was a witch, I  
wonder exactly what sort of powers she was able to control. My  
strength was still returning, and until it was fully back, I could  
do no more than sit and watch her go through her banal life. She  
was a cute little thing though....  
  
Her voice promptly brought me back to what bystanders to her  
odviously did best. Listening. "Now, I know you love Jenny and  
still want her. The way to a girl's heart is not through your  
silly games." She grinned slightly at this point.  
  
"Let me guess, YOUR silly games are the way." I replied somewhat  
drily if I do say so myself.  
  
"Exactly. I believe I'm having a similar problem in my life right  
now." The dryness of my last statement was odviously lost on her.  
  
"You're in love with a girl named Jenny? Well, whatever turns you  
on, Bonnie my dear." It was childish, I know. But the look on her  
face..... It was now my turn to smile as she gaped at me.  
  
"No! God, you are such a hard person to talk to! Okay, I'm calm."  
She took a breath before going on. "I'm in love with a man named  
Damon Salvatore who is equally in love with my best friend Elena  
Gilbert." The look on her face as she said this tore me apart  
inside, but I hardened myself against it.  
  
She has the most beguiling little face that completely told what  
she was feeling at any given time. It was really fascinating to  
just watch her, because she seemed to be able to experience such a  
range of extreme emotions in short periods of time. I have never  
met anyone like her before, and she intrigued me in a way I was  
unfamiliar with. It wasn't really intrigue that I loved in Jenny,  
it was something different. Humans are really strange creatures.  
Able to be so different from one another, yet still be connected  
by their species.  
  
"Why should I care?" Her face hardened as I answered in the only  
way that seemed to be appropriate to me.  
  
"You're missing the point, Julian." She leaned over and grabbed  
my coffee to take a swig. I just looked on as she did this in  
disbelief.  
  
"Go and get your own coffee." I took back my mug and glanced  
pointedly at the coffeemaker on the counter behind her.  
  
"Don't be so uptight. We can help each other! Don't you see it?"  
  
"How so?"  
  
"We could use each other to make them jealous! Jenny and Damon  
know they have power over us because of our love for them. They  
would miss this power if it was suddenly lost to them."  
  
She had a point with this, but there were some things that were  
bugging me about her plan. Such as, why had she chosen me for  
this? And there was still some question of how she had known so  
much about my history.  
  
"Should I take your silence as agreeing?" Bonnie's smile lit up  
her face.  
  
I nodded hesitantly. I would go along with her, for now.  
  
"Great!" She hugged me across the table on what appeared to be an  
impulse. I sat there stiffly as she sat back again.  
  
She frowned slight. "We really need to work on your people skills."  
  
********************  
  
"Come on Bonnie. Shoulders back, head high. Why are you so self  
concious?" I looked at her with curiosity. She just kind of  
shrugged and looked away. I sighed and waved an impatient hand in  
her direction.  
  
"AHHH! No way! I am not wearing this Julian!" I frowned at her as  
she wrapped both arms around her now bare-midriff.  
  
"Pull your arms away! And stop trying to pull up your pants!" I  
had dressed her in a dark red tank top and low slung black leather  
pants with her normal black skater's shoes. She seemed to find  
something wrong with the outfit.  
  
"I cannot wear this in public!" Bonnie glared at me while trying  
to connect the pants and shirt by tugging.  
  
"Stop that. Come over here." I motioned her over to me.  
  
"You need to pretty much exude self-confidence if you want people  
to believe you and I are a couple." I explained as I pulled her  
arms away from herself and held both her wrists between us. She  
looked faintly startled as I put my other arm behind her so I  
could push against her lower back. She straightened up as I pushed  
against her like I knew she would. Letting go of her completely, I  
stood back to see my handiwork. She looked slightly bemused, but  
standing with her back straight like that made her seem taller and  
more confident. I was almost able to forget the feeling of holding  
her in my arms for that moment as I looked her over.  
  
"Much better." I remarked to her now glaring face.  
  
  
  
Part 2  
  
Bonnie's POV  
  
I looked down at myself once more before looking in the  
restaurant window. Damn, they hadn't arrived yet. Julian had  
planned out this first meeting with Jenny and us perfectly. I  
defied anything to mess up his plan. It wasn't really my plan  
anymore, he had completely taken over. I was okay with that  
though. As long as he didn't make me wear anything that was more  
revealing than what he had already dressed me in.  
  
Looking back to the window, I noticed the Tom and Jenny had  
finally arrived. They would be noticing Julian right around...  
now. Tom stopped in his tracks and Jenny ran right into him from  
behind. Figures she would be behind him. She seemed to be the sort  
who would follow a guy like that.  
  
Ah, my cue. Julian had finally grinned at them. It wasn't a happy  
smile, it was one of those scary smiles he seemed to excell at. Go  
figure.  
  
After one last glance at the leather pants Julian had dressed me  
in (I still couldn't believe he had done that), I squared my  
shoulders and entered the restaurant.  
  
"What assumptions you make, Jenny." Julian shook his head in  
amusement at them. Tom seemed about to go for his throat.  
  
"Jules!!" I had thought up the nickname all by myself. Julian had  
told me he really wasn't pleased about the name. I told him to go  
to hell. And see, it all worked out in the end.  
  
I ran over to him as he stood up. After a brief hesitation, which  
I hoped the stunned Jenny and Tom hadn't noticed, I threw my arms  
around him. His lips found the side of my neck as I shivered in  
repulsion. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. I mean, he  
wasn't THAT good-looking, or that good a kisser... Even so, I felt  
the first moments of happiness while he was holding me. I hadn't  
felt like that since before Elena had died the first time around.  
  
I pulled back slightly, realizing that Tom and Jenny were in some  
kind of shock but still watching us. Running a hand through his  
pure white hair, I placed a small kiss on the side of his jaw, and  
gave what I knew to be a very small crooked smile.  
  
  
  
Part 3  
  
"Bonnie, I would like you to meet Jenny Thornton and Tom Locke.  
Acquiantances from the past." I turned in his arms to look in the  
surprisingly deep green eyes of the woman he loved.  
  
"Hi, I'm Bonnie.... Is something wrong?" I felt Julian's fingers  
trail along my navel before locking on eachother and holding me  
back against him. I fought a desire to laugh as I took in the  
looks on their faces. Priceless. Absolutely priceless. Tom was  
looking at me as if I were completly insane. Jenny though, Jenny  
was looking giving me a glare that said basically, "How dare you?  
He is my property."  
  
I smiled sweetly at her and placed my hands over his interlocked  
ones. The combination of the silk of his white shirt and warmth of  
his arms beneath the thin material felt good against my bare skin  
and I thanked him silently for keeping his arms there. He could  
probably tell I was still uncomfortable about the amount of flesh  
the outfit had put on display.  
  
"Do you know what exactly he is?" Tom was still having a hard  
time accepting all this I could tell.  
  
"A shadowman. So?" I, on the other hand, was having a great time  
with this.  
  
"He's evil!" Jenny spoke for the first time sounding completly  
aghast. As I turned to her, I felt my lip curl slightly in disgust  
at what she was wearing. She was odviously a pretty girl, but the  
high-necked ruffled blouse and long baggy skirt obliterated  
basically everything about her body. I loved the colour of her  
hair, a gold that looked incredibly soft, but again, she had worn  
it in a too-severe style pulled away from her face that really  
didn't look good with her face type.  
  
"Why are you dressed like that? You're such a pretty girl, you  
could do so much better." Julian let out a tiny snort at this and  
buried his face in my hair. Immediatly after I said this though, I  
felt a deep regret at having done so. I mean, I knew Tom picked  
out what she wore, and didn't Julian basically do the same thing  
to me for this meeting? Apologizing at this point wouldn't work  
with the image I was trying to project for Julian though.  
  
Jenny had visibly stiffened and lifted her chin. She seemed to  
want to show me how much greater her height was than mine, I only  
came to her shoulder, but it was like this with everyone. I smiled  
at her in amusement. I felt like Julian, wild, beautiful, and able  
to do whatever I wanted.  
  
  
  
Part 4  
  
"Tommy likes it." Jenny made a strained attempt at a smile and  
looked to Julian for some sort of response. She was disappointed,  
but I could tell what it cost Julian to not say or do anything.  
  
"Sweety, we should really get going." Julian laced his fingers  
through mine and tugged gently.  
  
"Okay, here." I quickly wrote my phone number using a piece of  
paper and pen Julian had produced from somewhere with a wave of  
his hand. Tom's eyes, to my vast amusement, had nearly leapt out  
of his sockets at this.  
  
"Call us sometime." I could practically feel Julian's approval as  
I implied that we lived together. Which, we sorta did. "Bye!" I  
waved back at them as we walked out.  
  
A feeling of shame infused me as we walked to the door. I really  
had treated Jenny, who I had just met in a sense, really badly. It  
was a not-so-good feeling. I really didn't like guilt. Some people  
loved it, languished in it until it became self-pity. I prefered  
not to feel either emotion.  
  
Stealing a glance to Julian, I took in the, well, perfection of  
his profile. No guy was allowed to look that good, I thought  
almost bitterly. An image of Damon as I had last seen him popped  
up in my head. An image of him walking away after first laughing  
at my small declaration of love.  
  
As soon as we got outside the restaurant, Julian let go of me and  
got a somewhat pensive look in his eyes. I felt relief as he let  
go of me, but also regret. There were bigger things at hand, I'd  
think about that little emotion later.  
  
"What's wrong, Julian?" I touched his arm lightly, unable to help  
myself. As he started at my touch, I felt a flash of hurt go  
through me. I let my hand drop to my side and looked at him.  
  
"So, when do we get to see the famous Damon?" He seemed to spit  
out Damon's name.  
  
"We need to locate him first. I think he may be in Italy..." I  
trailed off seeing that her was no longer listening. We walked in  
silence from then on.  
  
  
  
Part 5  
  
That night was the first night Julian spent somewhere other than  
my apartment, other than my room, other than... my bed. I shivered  
at the image that rose in my mind of Julian and I moving against  
eachother ina rythm that was so incredibly familiar somehow.  
  
Heat rose to my cheeks as I thought this. I felt somewhat ashamed  
at myself over this. Julian seemed to bring out the... worst in  
me. Damon's mocking smile came to mind. I put my hands to the  
sides of my head. Things were getting too complicated. These  
feelings for Julian I was having.... it would never happen. He  
loved only Jenny, and would never have any sort of feelings  
towards me. There was also the fact that he believed I was  
obsessively in love with Damon, and it would not work for him to  
learn the truth.  
  
I could no longer stay in the empty apartment. I had to get out.  
Grabbinh my coat, I left. Not sure where I was going to go, but  
knowing, at least for the moment, that it had to be far from here.  
  
***************  
  
Change to Julian's POV  
  
I wandered around the Shadow World version of Jenny's amusement  
park I had created just for her. I had created a dream house for  
her, a ring for her, a silver rose for her. All for her.  
Everything I had done that was worthwhile in my existance had all  
been for her. Maybe it was time to do something different...  
  
The pond beside me started to shimmer as I looked into it.  
  
"Bonnie." I ordered it with a wave of my hand.  
  
And there she was. Sipping coffee in a club. I sighed and the  
image disappeared.  
  
It really was time to do something for myself. I smiled.  
  
*************  
  
Change to Bonnie's POV  
  
"Bonnie, you look great. Where did you find those pants" Jordan  
Carren sat beside me with a glass of wine in her hand.  
  
"Oh, a.... friend of mine gave them to me." I looked away to the  
dancefloor.  
  
"Really." Jordan let it drop which was totally against her nature  
of prying until her immense curiosity was satisfied. I looked back  
to see her innocent smile. Way too innocent.  
  
"Look, I'm gonna go dance, see you in awhile, kay?" I left before  
she could get on with her odvious plan to ask more questions than  
I was ready to answer.  
  
I danced furiously to rid myself of the tension that had been  
with me since Julian had left. It worked until two hands found  
their way to my leather-clad hips and spun me so I collided with  
the too-familiar bright, incredibly bright and abnormal, blue  
eyes. I sank into them without another thought. Julian was  
apparently back.  
  
  
  
Part 6  
  
My eyes widened involuntarily as he said nothing, just started to  
dance to the seductive beat. One of his long legs moved between  
mine, and I couldn't help moving against him. My arms somehow  
found their way to to his shoulders so my fingers could play with  
the little hairs on the back of his neck.  
  
His upper lip quirked and a light flashed in his eyes. He was  
daring me. Daring me to go further than I was currently going with  
him. Leather met leather as I took him up on the dare and slowly  
pushed my hips forward to fully meet him. He grimaced as if in  
pain, but his incredible eyes never left mine.  
  
I was drowning. Julian had one of the only minds I couldn't enter  
at my will, and it was killing me not knowing what exactly he was  
thinking. Why was he acting this way towards me all of a sudden?  
And another thought that was plaguing me, and that I would never  
admit I had even thought about it, where the hell had he been when  
I was missing him that badly?  
  
Staring into his eyes like that seemed to be ripping my soul  
apart, I could no longer stand it. I moved until my back was  
toward him and nestled into his body. My arms got looped back  
until they were resting on Julian's suprisingly well-muscled  
shoulders.  
  
His cool lips found the side of my neck while his hands slowly  
glided up and down my sides thus creating a feeling in me I had  
never experienced before. A feeling of wanting, of longing.... Not  
sure what I wanted, I turned my head to him. Lips open in an  
invitation I was certain he wouldn't miss, I could almost feel  
him....  
  
"Bonnie, my my. How you've... changed." Damon looked me up and  
down like a butcher looked at a prize cut of meat, intending to be  
offensie, and working. Behind him trailed Elena and Stefan and now  
staring at me in Julian's arms. I jerked my head away just as I  
felt his breath upon my lips. I didn't even think of that feeling  
of dissatisfaction that I know felt, just "what in the hell are  
they doing here...?".  
  
"Ah, shit." I muttered quietly and was then rewarded with  
Julian's soft laughter.  
  
  
  
Part 7  
  
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked chirpily. Cringing as I  
heard myself, I ran a hand through the curls that were hanging in  
my eyes.  
  
"We wanted to surprise you..." Elena said as we walked toward a  
table. I was leading Julian as he still as he still held onto my  
waist walking behind Elena and I. Stefan and Damon were bringing  
up the rear. I didn't even want to know what was being said  
between those two.  
  
"We missed our little witch." Damon announced mockingly. Julian's  
fingers tightened slightly on my skin, and I turned to look at  
him. He just stared grimly back. I looked forward wondering what  
was going on with him. He seemed.... jealous would probably be the  
best word for it. But that wasn't right, he didn't think of me in  
that light. He cared only for Jenny.  
  
"Really? Wow." I turned to Elena. "How have you been?"  
  
She sat and glanced at Julian before answering. "Good. We've been  
living in Barcelona. Beautiful city...."  
  
"Sounds great." I sat beside her and pulled Julian into the chair  
on the other side of me before Damon could get in it. He shot me a  
dirty look as Julian smiled slightly.  
  
"So, who's your friend Bonnie?" Damon basically sneered as he sat  
in another chair.  
  
"Julian." He answered for himself.  
  
"Wow, and he can talk." Damon mocked. I sucked in a breath. I  
could never imagine baiting Julian while he was in this kind of  
mood. It seemed like a dangerous pastime.  
  
Julian said a few words that I didn't understand, but recognized  
the language as Italian. Damon pushed himself away from the table  
and grabbed Julian holding him against a nearby wall with one hand  
to the neck.  
  
"What strength. Damon, you're kind of turning me on here." Julian  
laughed in Damon's face, which just made his grip tighten.  
  
"Damon! Let go!" Elena shrieked as I jumped up and ran to them. A  
crowd was starting to form as the other clubbers realized there  
was something going on. Elena was right behind me, but Stefan was  
calmly sipping a drink and looking amused at the whole situation.  
  
I grabbed Damon's hands and started pulling, but in his rage, and  
you know, the whole vampire strength thing, I didn't get very far.  
I went very far as he pulled a hand away to shove me away from him  
though. I landed on my back at someone's feet. As hands reached  
down for me, I looked up dazedly to see Julian helping me up and  
into his arms.  
  
"What....?" I could vaguely hear Elena speaking, and people  
shouting for an ambulance. I almost laughed at the thought of  
Damon, of all people needing medical attention. Suddenly, my mind  
was telling me, in a distinctly Julian voice, that I needed sleep.  
I wanted to sleep. So I slept, still bundled in his arms.  
  
  
  
Part 8  
  
I woke slowly and looked at the ceiling for a long time without  
thinking. Then, it occured to me to maybe think about what had  
happened after I had fallen asleep.  
  
"Julian!" I shrieked and sat up. He walked in holding a cup of  
coffee, a drink he had become addicted to while living with me.  
  
Now, I need to take a moment here to describe exactly what he was  
wearing. Semi-tight black leather pants was the name of the game.  
Nothing else. My mouth pretty much watered as I took in his bare  
upper body. Fascinating stuff, that.  
  
"Okay, now what what happened last night?" I looked back up to  
his face to see a mask in it's place. I hated it when he did that.  
I already wasn't able to go anywhere near his mind without him  
letting me, and this told me nothing of what he was feeling.  
  
"Your..." He stopped to glance at me and then his gaze went to  
someplace above my head. "friend, Damon was being troublesome. And  
after that, I influenced you to sleep."  
  
"First of all, why did you influence me, and secondly, how the  
hell did you get through my shields?" He leaned against the  
doorframe and simply looked at me with this extremely demeaning  
exasperated look on his face. I frowned at him.  
  
"What happened after I feel asleep?" It was another thought to  
worry about. My eyes widened and I lifted the sheet to look down  
at myself. Quickly the sheet was dropped back down and clutched  
tightly to my chest. I jumped up, while wrapping it around me, so  
he wouldn't be able to look down at me and stalked over to the  
snake.  
  
"You certainly like it rough." Julian smiled, still able to look  
down at me despite my efforts. There was a dawning of something  
akin to horror in me. He was joking. He had to be. He would never  
do something like that to me.... would he?  
  
"You're lying! I would have felt that! I'd remember something  
like that!" I jabbed my finger into the centre of his chest to  
prove my point, but I was having doubts. He was extremely  
powerful. There might be a chance, I refused to think about that  
right then.  
  
"You keep telling yourself that." He grabbed my wrist away from  
him and then leaned in close to whisper in my ear. "If it gives  
you pleasure..."  
  
"You asshole!" My fury at him, for doing this to me while I was  
under his influence and at myself for trusting him even though I  
knew he couldn't be trusted, erupted. I wrenched my hand from his,  
and then slapped him as hard as I could.  
  
There was a moment of pure satisfaction and silence as his head  
snapped back with the strength of the blow and I could see the  
beginning of a wonderful bruise in the red handprint on his  
perfect face.  
  
Then, I panicked. He looked back to me with an almost murderous  
gleam in his eye.  
  
Bolting to the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and pretty  
much prayed. He was so angry!  
  
Everything that was happening suddenly flooded me, and I couldn't  
deal with it. Tears came easily as I sat on the closed lid of the  
toilet with my head buried in my hands. I was amazed at myself.  
The last time I had cried had been when Damon had left and now I  
was crying over Julian doing the opposite. I didn't even  
understand myself, it was no wonder I didn't understand them.  
  
"BONNIE! Get out here NOW!" Julian's yelling and banging on the  
door somehow made my sobs louder. I had finally made him lose  
control over himself, and yet, that made me feel so much worse.  
  
I could feel myself trembling and was relieved when the banging  
stopped.  
  
"Bonnie? Are you crying?" His voice seemed to soften and I looked  
to the door in suprise. What did he care? All I was to him was a  
little sex toy!  
  
"Go away!" The effect of my yell was lost somewhat when my voice  
cracked in the middle and I started crying once more.  
  
"Don't cry...." His hands cupped my face as he stared into my  
eyes, the last bit of shimmery stuff disappearing from his travel.  
I shut my eyes and leaned into his hands relaxing completly when  
he softly placed his lips against mine in a gentle kiss.  
  
  
  
Part 9  
  
Change to Kalliope's POV  
  
I could almost taste her power... It filled my senses until I  
could think of nothing else. She would pay yes, pay with her  
blood, her life, her power. She and all the others would pay for  
what they had done.  
  
"Why don't you just take her?" My young son Stasy asked somewhat  
impatiently. He still had a lot to learn in the world.  
  
"Waiting just makes it all the sweeter, my dear. She will not get  
away with it though." Stasy smiled slowly and licked his  
elongating, elegantly tapered teeth.  
  
**********  
  
Change to Julian's POV  
  
"I didn't do anything..." I whispered in her ear after first  
kissing the incredibly soft skin behind her ear.  
  
"What?" Bonnie leaned back to arm length and stared intently into  
my eyes.  
  
I ran the pads of my thumbs over her cheekbones, hating to see  
the lasting redness there. "I didn't do anything to you after  
you'd fallen asleep."  
  
She pushed me away and had jumped to her feet before I could kiss  
her again.  
  
"WHAT? Am I not good enough for you?!"  
  
"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe my ears. First she was upset at  
the thought I had done something to her, now she was upset the I  
hadn't. All I could think to do was to blink in a mild stupor.  
  
"All you do is mock me! How could you?" She paced over to the  
sink and furiously splashed water on her face. I watched with mild  
concern, worried that she might accidentally hit herself in her  
somewhat glorious anger. Hell, she had already hit me. There  
wasn't anyone else left for her to hit but herself now.  
  
Bonnie seemed to have forgotten completely about the sheet  
wrapped around her wonderful slight figure, and it was slowly, but  
surely losing it's battle with gravity. I mentally hit myself for  
thinking of the things she was currently mad at me about.  
  
"Go away Julian! Just get out!" She opened the door and motioned  
me out with her face still dripping, It slightly took away from  
the righteous anger affect she was going for.  
  
I inclined my head to her before walking out the door. There was  
nothing I could think of saying that she would both listen to and  
believe.  
  
It was time for me to face the elders. And leave her since she  
odviously didn't want or need me around.  
  
**************  
  
Change to Bonnie's POV  
  
I had strange dreams that night.... Of blood, and Julian crying,  
a sight that pained me more than anything else I had ever  
witnessed in what might be classified in my gory life experiences.  
  
Damon was also in my dreams, but it was a different Damon than I  
was used to. He seemed to have also been crying by the redness  
around his eyes, but was now calmer. His blood flowed hot and  
sweet from a single straight gash in the base of his neck, and  
yet.... He seemed to be slightly happy about it.  
  
With that, I sat up in the darkness of my bedroom. "It was only a  
dream..." I mumbled to myself, but that didn't comfort me much.  
Look at what had happened with my dreams before this.  
  
I flopped back resolved to forget about it, and get a decent  
night's sleep. To show Julian, he had had no effect on any of my  
normal functions. I was just drifting back to sleep, when I felt  
the extreme burst of power hit me.  
  
"Julian?" I asked the darkness as I slid into unconciousness.  
  
  
  
Part 10  
  
This time I woke with my head throbbing in a way that had me  
believing I had downed more than a few tequilas. Not a very  
pleasant feeling by any standard.  
  
"Christ...." I sat up with the world still spinning around me,  
but needing to get away from the coldness of whatever I was lying  
on. "Julian...?" My voice shook as I called the first name I  
thought of.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry... Your little boyfriend isn't around to help  
you..." A tall raven-haired woman stepped from the shadows. I  
couldn't really place her age, she looked to be about twenty  
physically, but her eyes held an agelessness that I had only seen  
once before.  
  
Power was literally rolling off her in a way that made my senses  
reel. She smirked at me letting me know she knew everything I was  
feeling and thinking. I had never before come up against this kind  
of power. Except for once. Klaus. She was exactly like Klaus in  
that way.  
  
"Who are you?" I tried to stand and was plastered by her mocking  
and somewhat mad laughter as I was unable to.  
  
"Look at you, you pathetic little human. You can't even stand on  
your own two legs and yet you demand things of me." She walked to  
me and without warning kicked me in the side. I gasped and  
cletched at the tender skin as stars exploded behind my now-closed  
eyelids. Pain was radiating through me from that point and I  
curled up tightly in a fetal position trying to make it go away.  
  
"You are nothing!" She screamed amid her laughter echoed off the  
walls all around me. She kicked me again and again. "You are  
vermin! No better then the rodents humans poison! A nuisance!" She  
stopped only to laugh that horrible laugh and look down at me with  
such hatred in her eyes, I knew. She had never been human. And she  
was completely insane.  
  
She leaned down only to grab me around the neck and hold me in  
the air looking into my eyes. My reflexes had me grabbing at her  
hands to loosen them when suddenly, her mouth came swiftly down on  
my kneck, canines extended.  
  
Then came the worst. Her incredible power started draining at  
mine creating a funnel to her mind from me. Drawing on my power,  
my mind, my soul.... It felt like my head was exploding in on  
itself.  
  
She dropped me back to the floor and I slowly lost consiousness  
as the pain turned to darkness.....  
  
Change to Julian's POV  
  
Bonnie's pain had been coming through to me for awhile even  
though I was not even in the same dimension. I had promised myself  
I would not go running to her. Clearly, I was not the one she  
wanted.  
  
Suddenly though, her pain stopped. I sat up in confusion.  
Emotional pain didn't just disapear like that. It stayed with the  
person even through sleep often making them dream about it.  
Something was very wrong.  
  
"Show me Bonnie." The mirror beside my bed was connected to her  
world. It was just clouds..... Fuzzy clouds. Nothing. Something  
was incredibly wrong. Fear and some other emotion clutched at my  
heart sending me jumping up and running to the rune-carved door. I  
had to find her.  
  
  
  
Part 11:  
  
"Where is she!?" I pushed my way past Damon into the apartment  
beyond futively searching for her.  
  
"Who? Bonnie?" He looked about to punch me before realizing this  
was somewhat more important than his petty revenge.  
  
"What have you done with her?!" I knew I was sounding slightly  
hysterical at this point, but I couldn't exactly help it. I  
slammed him against the wall on my way to search the other rooms.  
  
"What's happened?" In his quest for knowledge he simply picked  
himself up to follow me.  
  
"Bonnie's missing, retard!"  
  
"What?! I cannot believe you lost her!" He grabbed up a cell  
phone from a nearby table and violently punched in some numbers.  
  
I stretched my senses out to catch some glimpse of her, but there  
was nothing. Again.  
  
Damon turned his back to me and began talking into the phone.  
"Stefan? Have you or Elena seen Bonnie? She appears to be missing."  
  
I couldn't believe this was happening. The first woman I'd ever  
truly... cared for, and she was missing. Something was incredibly  
wrong though. Bonnie was not the type of person to run away. Plus,  
she wouldn't be able to erase her power signature like that  
anyway. There was a whole lot more to this than I had originally  
thought. Not being able to feel her in my realm was normal enough,  
but not able to feel her in her own realm, well, that was very  
very strange.  
  
Suddenly, my senses went haywire as an unknown power entered my  
range. I gasped and quickly shielded myself from it before it's  
power could do some serious damage.  
  
Damon's reaction was somewhat worse than mine. He appeared to be  
rolling on the floor clutching at his head. I sighed and threw a  
shield over his mind. I would have been happy to let him suffer,  
but Bonnie would have never forgiven me. Christ, where was she?  
  
I looked around trying to find the new power as Damon lifted  
himself once more off the floor. He nodded to me with a somewhat  
surprised look on his face which was probably as close to a thank  
you I was going to get.  
  
The new power was a steady pulse at the forefront of my mind, and  
that, along with the energy I was spending shielding both Damon  
and I from it, I was rapidly losing power. I would need to return  
to the Shadow Realms soon, but I couldn't leave until I'd found  
Bonnie.  
  
"She's dying." A tall black haired man with wild blue eues  
stepped from the shadows. I blinked. He was definitly the new  
power. But, he couldn't be more than twenty-five, he shouldn't  
have been able to retain that amount of power.  
  
"Who are you?" Damon and I asked at the same time. We turned to  
glare at eachother.  
  
"My name is Stasy." He had a mad grin on his face and leaned  
against the wall as if it took too much effort for him to stay  
upright on his own.  
  
  
  
Part 12  
  
"Why are you here?" I asked, trying to figure out exactly how he   
had appeared. Ah well, there would be time to think of that later.  
"Who is dying?" I was almost afraid of the answer.  
  
Stasy looked down for a moment before looking back into my eyes  
with an incredibly serious look that was at odds with the almost  
insanity on his face a moment before. "Bonnie"  
  
"Oh, my god..." Damon sat down with a thud on the chair against  
the wall.  
  
"Where is she?" I restrained myself only barely. Inside, I was  
dying as she supposedly was. How did this boy know about it if I  
didn't? Had he been the one to hurt my Bonnie? I clenched my fists  
to my sides.  
  
"Kalliope has her." Stasy looked away once more.  
  
"Who the fuck is Kalliope?" I griund out from between my teeth.  
Damon though, Damon had a strange reaction to this news that meant  
nothing to me. He started and got this look on his face as if he  
was sick. "Klaus's lover." He said quietly.  
  
It was my turn to be in shock. Bonnie had briefly mentioned Klaus  
to me in one of our discussions as being almost invincible. I  
couldn't remember much beyond that and that he had been an  
Original.  
  
Stasy laughed then. "He was more than her lover. After being  
together for two hundred years, they were probably common-law."  
  
"How do you know all this?" I asked pushing my fears to the back  
of my mind for the moment.  
  
"They lived for a hundred years together until they had a child."  
He went on seemingly unhearing me. "That would be me." He took  
that opportunity to bow to us.  
  
Damon turned even paler than he already was, but it really made  
sense after the original shock wore off. His extreme power, the  
things he could do... Only one thing was bothering me.  
  
"Is Kalliope an Original?"  
  
"Yes." Stasy grinned. "I guess that would make me a miniOriginal,  
you know, I don't think there's a word for it.  
  
"Where is Bonnie now?"  
  
"With Kalliope.... In the Shadow World." Stasy's wild blue eyes  
met mine in sympathy. Shock floored me. I couldn't believe  
Kalliope's gall in taking the only human I loved to kill her in my  
home world. I really did love her, I realized with a start. I had  
to find her. I loved Bonnie.  
  
"Why are you telling us this?" I asked in what I hoped was a calm  
voice.  
  
"I agreed with my mother at first. That Bonnie should die." Stasy  
held up a hand to restrain me when I would have gone for his neck.  
"Calm down Julian. I thought she would just drink from Bonnie. But  
what she has done is worse. Kalliope has gone completly insane.  
Klaus is partially responsible for that. He treated her like shit.  
I believe he was in love with Katherine and could not love her  
because of it. Getting himself killed while trying to avenge her  
death destroyed Kalliope."  
  
"Also, my baby sister Acacia was born only sixteen years ago, and  
Kalliope now has no one to help her with Acacia. She may seem old  
by your standards, but Acacia really is a baby in our world."  
Stasy seemed suprised at himself for saying this much to us and a  
strange emotion entered his expressive eyes.  
  
"Very sad." I said snidely as now anger filled his eyes.  
  
"Do you want me to take you to Bonnie?" He folded his arms across  
his chest and glared at me. He had a point there, I could get us  
to the Shadow World, but beyond that.... Finding anything there  
even with the elder's help was difficult. But, the elders weren't  
about to help an outcast Shadowman like myself. That made it  
impossible. I needed Stasy if I ever wanted to see Bonnie alive  
again.  
  
God, it was awful to think of Bonnie as not being alive. She  
shone, that was really the only word for it. She was more alive  
than anyone else I had ever met.  
  
"I'm coming with you." Damon spoke for the first time in our  
little exchange.  
  
"I don't think so." I said right back vehemently.  
  
  
  
Part 13  
  
Jealousy stirred in me awhile later as we were walking between  
the worlds. Quite the place, I must admit. I looked toward the  
world I loathed, the Shadow World, and wished I could be human.  
  
Bonnie would never love me as I loved her. I couldn't even be  
with her like I wanted. As I neared the Shadow World, my powers  
rejuvenated themselves, I could feel it in the tingling sensation  
that whispered across my skin. Bonnie would never be able to live  
in this dark, desolute place. It would kill her. And I would never  
be abke to live in her world.  
  
My jealousy latched itself on one being: Damon. While also not  
human, he could be with her as he wished, never once thinking that  
he would have to go back to another world soon. There was no other  
world for him.  
  
Once again though, my worry turned to Bonnie. As we got closer, I  
could faintly feel her unmistakable presence, and it scared me.  
Pain was the number one emotion she was throwing out. Such fears  
assailed me to a near numbness. I could not lose her.  
  
"You can feel her, can't you?" Damon interrupted me thoughts with  
a strange look in his eye.  
  
"Of course. She is impossible to miss."  
  
"Not to everyone." Damon raised an eyebrow at me and I frowned  
wondering what his cryptic words meant. He seemed to do that a  
lot. Once again I was detained from wondering overtly about it.  
  
Stasy interrupted this time though. He suddenly gasped and shit  
his eyes while jamming his fingertips into his temples. I felt it  
then. Someone had just shot enough power at him to kill him. He  
was suprisingly able to shield himself in time to prevent it. I  
wondered once more at his extraordinary power as he ground out  
"Kalliope."  
  
Change to Bonnie's POV  
  
The first thing I heard as I came to was Kalliope's mad laughter  
and then an unmistakable male voice. Julian. I sighed and closed  
my eyes once more against the unbearable pain that sat in every  
crevice of my body.  
  
There was a wonderful numbness starting to enclose me, but still  
I frowned as shouts and bursts of power exploded every moment.  
Julian's cool blue shield surrounded me though as blankness took  
over once more. No more pain....  
  
I was floating suddenly, looking down at three men and a woman.  
Concentrating, I realized one was... I wasn't sure, but I knew he  
was somehow special to me. I knew those impossibly blue eyes, how  
soft that white hair was... The smile, the lips... All familiar to  
me. The deadly look on his face though, was something I had never  
seen before marring his beauty... Frightened, I drew away and  
looked into another room to find something else that was calling  
to me.  
  
A girl lay there. At first glance, she looked dead, but as  
recognition started to dawn on me, I realized she was breathing  
very faintly. A few of her ribs looked broken, as did her arm.  
Bruises darkened her fair skin with blood spilling from various  
cuts. One gash in particular caught my attention. The side of her  
neck had a large cut from which blood flowed at an alarming rate.  
My eyes finally reached the girl's face with some reluctance and I  
cried out with the shock of realizing something I had already  
known.  
  
I fell back into myself and then there was nothing but the  
soothing darkness. No more pain.  
  
  
  
Part 14  
  
Wetness found my face and I winced at the feelings of tightness  
against my abused skin. Someone was lifting me and calling my name  
with an anguish I couldn't ignore. I frowned mentally, unhappy  
that this person was so sad.  
  
I couldn't seem to do anything about it though. It felt like I  
was drowning and could not find where the water ended. No up or  
down, left or right. Nothingness.  
  
"Bonnie!! Don't give up... I need you...." Julian's whisper  
resounded through my head. He was crying I realized, his tears  
were the wetness burning my cheeks. I hated to see him so sad...  
My own tears trickled through my lashes as I struggled to open  
them.  
  
Emotions were coursing in my veins with a depth and a clarity  
that I had never felt before. Emotions for and concerning Julian  
who I had realized I... loved. It was strange that I felt no sense  
of surprise at this, that I had always known it.... My future self  
had been right when she had spoken to me.... I hadn't really  
believed her.... And now, it was too late, I would never have a  
chance to fulfill her hopes, hopes which were now a part of me as  
she was.... She, I, had been right about bringing Julian back into  
this world....  
  
"Don't cry...." I whispered. It took too much energy to even  
think now.... I had to tell him though. "I love you..."  
  
A silver cord appeared in my mind as the pain left. I sighed and  
heard Julian's whisper both in my mind and in my ears, "I love  
you.", and then I let go.  
  
***************  
  
Change to Stasy's POV  
  
Bonnie was dead. I could feel the remnants of her battered  
presence go out like a light in my head. It was what I had wished,  
yet it left me empty. She had been one of the most innocent and  
pure people I had ever met, and I had helped destroy her. Killing  
her did not exact the revenge towards the father I had had in name  
only. To be honest, I had never felt anything other than a vague  
distaste for Klaus and an anger at the way he had treated  
Kalliope....  
  
Kalliope's death didn't pain me as deeply as Bonnie's and I  
despised myself for it. My mother's death didn't mean as much to  
me as a girl's I had never formally met. What did that make me? A  
monster.  
  
I smiled grimly and brought my wrist to my mouth. I grimaced at  
the taste of my own blood, but let it flow to relieve my anger  
towards myself. Blue fire lit up the room as I let it go to  
destroy the wall I was facing. I smiled once more and licked my  
lips clean of the bitter blood.  
  
It was then I decided I could not stay here and face Julian when  
he got back from Bonnie's side, or Damon from wherever he had gone  
after first running a hand down the side of Bonnie's face.  
  
Both of them loved her, but I sensed a connection within Julian  
and Bonnie that hadn't been realised. The soulmate connection.  
Hunter had spoken of it with a vague disgust last time I had seen  
him. He had not believed it possible and shunned it, but there was  
a proof of it in Bonnie and Julian towards each other.  
  
They loved eachother deeply, yes, but it was so much more than  
that.... I couldn't believe they had never seen it. They had  
probably not wanted to see it, or did not know what they were  
facing even if they did. I did not know exactly and I put limits  
on myself as to how much and how deeply I could go in a person's  
mind.  
  
  
Part 15  
  
Damon watched Julain cradle Bonnie's head to his chest and felt a  
pang of hurt. He shook it off and walked to them. "I can save her."  
  
Julian looked up with red-rimmed eyes and Bonnie's blood staining  
the otherwise golden skin on his face. Again, Damon blinked at  
Julian's strange looks. He had never seen anyone that even  
slightly resembled Julian before, which was amazing with the  
hundreds of years Damon had been around. Though, he got the  
feeling the Julian was the farthest thing from human you could  
get. Not vampire though.  
  
"How?" Julian's voice was hoarse and hope started to spring to  
life within him.  
  
"You know how..." Damon ran a finger along his teeth and felt  
them elongate in response to the mild pressure.  
  
"It's too late for that." Julian's voice went flat as the hope  
died and he gathered Bonnie's limp body to him once more. He felt  
yet more tears run down his cheeks as he brushed a stray curl away  
from her cold lips. Coldness that would never end. Bonnie was  
gone. No more of her light in his life. No more love, just,  
emptiness.  
  
"Not if I do it right now. Her blood is still warm." Damon  
watched Julian stiffen and run a finger down the side of her still  
face. "Save her." He whispered and stepped away with heavy  
reluctance.  
  
Only Damon could save her now. Julian again felt a heavy  
resentment and sadness that he was a shadowman with no powers  
pertaining to the continuation of life. All he could do was death.  
He pushed aside the feelings as Damon lay beside Bonnie on the bed  
Julian had conjured. All that mattered was Bonnie. Nothing would  
ever be right again if she was no longer alive.  
  
Damon saw the gash cause by Kalliope on Bonnie's neck and winced  
with disgust as he fitted his mouth to it.  
  
Julian tensed his muscles to keep himself from moving as he  
watched Damon drink of her. He's helping her... He tried to listen  
to the little rational voice in his head when all he felt like  
doing was beating Damon to a bloody pulp.  
  
A nasty-looking knife appeared in Damon's hand as he pulled it  
away from it's casing under his shirt. Julian turned away when he  
ran it across the base of his throat and leaned back over Bonnie  
so her mouth was in line with the trickling blood.  
  
Julian felt Bonnie's presence coming back into existence slowly,  
and thanked God that Damon had been fast enough to save her. He  
held out his hand, and closed it around the delicate object that  
appeared in it. He wiped the remaining wetness off his face and  
turned to watch the awakening Bonnie.  
  
The solid bracelt he held in his hand he latched onto Bonnie's  
ankle so she would forever be protected from the deadening sun by  
the lapus lazuli encrusted into it.  
  
"Julian..." Bonnie moaned automatically as she woke and looked up  
into the familiar tender bright blue gaze. They were filled with  
an aching emotion and she reached out a hand to stroke the side of  
his face.  
  
Stars exploded and she gasped in terror as something started  
pulling at her weak mind.  
  
"Don't be afriad..." Julian strove to reassure her as wonderment  
filled his eyes. Damon watched on, then, with a heaviness in his  
heart, left, completely forgotten by Bonnie and Julian.  
  
Julian leaned down to her slowly and gently placed his lips to  
hers as his world exploded. Bonnie sighed and curved her hand  
around his neck while letting her mind go. Something inside her  
said it was right, and who was she to argue with her innermost  
consciousness?  
  
Something seemed to shatter within her and darkness surrounded  
her as she was thrust suddenly into Julian's mind.  
  
It was a cold place filled with silvery icicles and solid  
darkness. There was a flash of bright red at the corner of her  
eye, and she turned fully to see exactly what the only bit of  
colour in this desolute place was.  
  
*Its you...* Julian's voice answered from all around Bonnie and  
he appeared in front of her. *You're my only light.*  
  
Bonnie felt tears starting as she was finally able to feel what  
was going through his mind. A love, the deepness of which she had  
never imagined washed over her.  
  
*I love you...* Bonnie reached out mentally to him and was  
delighted by the flashing of light in his expressive eyes. The  
silver chord hummed in the back of his mind as he whispered back,  
"Tha gradh agam ort."*  
  
The End.  
  
*Tha gradh agam ort= I love you in scottish gaelic.  
  
  
  



End file.
